Vanity [van-i-tee]: excessive pride in one’s appearance, qualities, abilities, achievements; lack of real value

Consider this blog post a public service announcement. As girls it’s really easy to let our looks get in the way of our freedom to live our lives as God intended. Never did He intend for us to give in to our insecurities or become a slave to our physical appearance. So here is a heart-to-heart from me to you on a few areas of vanity.

Too much make-up: I was in late junior high and early high school when I went through a phase where I despised my freckles. In an effort to hide them, I buried them under layers of thick foundation and powder. That seemed to be the answer to how I could achieve a perfectly smooth and spotless complexion. One day I looked at myself in the mirror and realized how ridiculous I looked. By mid-day my T-zone was oily and foundation had started to cake on my upper lip, around my eyebrows, and would wear off on my nose. Instead of fooling people with my “perfect skin,” I was probably providing people with numerous opportunities to laugh at me. I finally revised my make-up routine and found a better look that worked best for my skin tone and my age — I was too young to be depending too deeply on make-up! For me, vanity became an issue when I tried to use make-up to cover my insecurities.

Tanning: I’m just going to shoot straight on this one — vanity has become an issue for girls who repeatedly use tanning beds. According to the National Cancer Institute,“ women who use tanning beds more than once a month are 55 percent more likely to develop malignant melanoma, the most deadly form of skin cancer.” Why expose yourself to something that will increase your chances for cancer by that much, just for vanity’s sake? As an extremely light-skinned girl myself, I completely understand the insecurities that arise, especially around shorts and swimsuit season, when you feel like you glow compared to the bronzed beauties around you. But listen up — vanity is not worth risking melanoma. Take a few minutes to think of a few youth leaders, friends, or celebrities (yes … this is one instance where I’m encouraging you to look to celebrities) who have embraced the fact that they have light skin. Taylor Swift, Nicole Kidman, Kristen Stewart, Renee Zellweger, and Kristen Dunst are beautiful examples of embracing the skin they’re in!

Taking too long to get ready: I remember a missions trip to Mexico in which a handful of girls spent what seemed like the better part of forever in the bathrooms getting ready in the morning, despite the fact that we were going to be working long days in the hot sun walking through dirty streets. Vanity got in the way for those girls.

I think there are times in all of our lives when we need to stop and evaluate whether vanity is affecting our day-to-day activities. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? Do you think it’s a fairly normal amount of time or do you think you’re putting too much time and energy into your appearance? Do you find yourself popping into the bathroom on locker breaks to touch up your hair and make-up? Take a few minutes to honestly assess whether vanity has become an issue. At 26 years old I did a vanity check a few months ago and was really convicted about my morning routine! So just be honest.

Compulsive shopping: There is nothing wrong with trendy clothes and accessories or being style-minded, but when it comes at the expense of credit cards, overstuffed closets, and a need to always have more, vanity has become an issue. As you start making money of your own and being more responsible for expenses, remember these principles — save some, give some, spend some.

·Out of the money you make, save some. Put some of it away into savings so that at an early age you are getting into good habits. Perhaps this is a certain dollar amount of each check you get or a certain percentage.

·Give some. The first 10% of what you make should be your tithe (read more about tithing in Nehemiah 10:37,38). You may also consider giving to missions, building campaigns, or other special giving opportunities offered through your church as you feel led.

·And finally you can spend some. It’s completely fine to spend some of your money that you’ve worked hard for! Go out to eat with a friend. See a movie. Buy a new purse. But when you manage your money with the save some, give some, and spend some principles working together, it keeps your finances balanced and on a path that’s not driven by vanity.

I think most girls go through a phase of insecurity where they hold back from certain activities for fear that they are going to look ugly or silly. Think about it — have you sat on the edge of the pool and just dangled your feet in the water while all of the rest of your friends played a rousing game of water volleyball because you were afraid of what you looked like in your swimsuit or of looking like a drowned rat or looking unrecognizable without your make-up on? Have you turned down an opportunity to play soccer with your friends because you’re embarrassed that you don’t have official “work out” clothes or know how to wear your hair so it looks best despite sweating and running?

How many times have you let vanity come in the way of being free and having fun? Take some time and assess yourself in all of these areas and see where you stack up. Make this your theme verse as you move forward in a life that is controlled by God and not your issues of vanity: “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1, NIV).

Patterned and Printed

Stores are full of cute patterned and printed tops right now, so let’s take a look at few outfits you could put together too!

Outfit #1

Wear a patterned tunic over boot cut jeans and accessorize with a printed scarf, earrings, and a long necklace. Complete your look with a pair of cute shoes and a great purse. Want some cute sunglasses? Check these out!

Outfit #2

Wear a printed top under an unbuttoned striped cardigan with adorable wide-legged pants, flats, and a complementing bag.

Outfit #3

Wear a loose-fitting white and black shirt with bright blue pants and add some pizzazz with a blue printed scarf. Finish off your outfit with cute shoes and a purse.

…to Cranky People

Let’s just take a minute to be completely honest — when you run into someone who’s cranky to you, your natural instinct is to want to be cranky back to them — thus making the person even more cranky for being cranked at, therefore creating a never-ending circle of perpetual crankiness, ruining the day for both parties. So how can you stop the circle of crankiness?

1. Realize that something is going on in that person’s life to cause them to have an off day. You can relate, right? Maybe you had a series of 25 disasters this morning all before you left your house for the day and it’s left you feeling like calling it quits on the day and crawling back in bed. Maybe you failed an important test or had a disagreement with your parents or friend. While it’s not right to take out your feelings on all of humanity around you, it will help you be able to put yourself in the shoes of the cranky people you run into.

2. Take a deep breath and put on your happy face. When you’re already in a terrible mood you know that the worst thing someone can do to you is be cranky with you. Do resist the urge to do that to someone else! Take a deep breath, realize that this person is having a rough day, and respond with an abundance of maturity, love, and patience. Think about how Jesus responds to you when you’re being a little unlovable! He is mature, loving, and patient when He deals with us, so try to emulate Him and treat others the same.

3. Pray for the cranky person. When you politely finish your conversation with the cranky person, pray for them as you walk away. You have no idea what is going on in their life or what kind of burdens they are carrying with them today. But God knows. He might even give you a word of encouragement to pass along to that person or give you an opportunity to share Jesus with them. So take a few minutes as you walk away to pray that God would be close to them, surround them with people that love Him and love them, and claim that the day will be a good day for them.

Matthew 5:46-48 is a great challenge for us as we seek to respond positively to cranky people: “If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect” (NLT).

Lately I’ve caught myself judging a book by its cover. I think we’re all guilty of doing this from time to time, probably some of us more than others, but it takes a big person to catch themselves before they even cast a judging thought. I want to be a big person!

Why is it that a lot of times our first thoughts about another girl are negative? We can walk past a girl and instantly have about 95 cutting thoughts about her. Wouldn’t it be great if we could all be a big person and get to the point where we walk past another girl and only think positive things about her?

Why is it so difficult to take advice, instruction, or criticism from someone without spiteful thoughts of “well who are you to tell me that?” Wouldn’t it be great it we could all be a big person and get to the point where, instead of angrily stewing and mentally demanding a person’s list of credentials, we graciously listen and decide how it can apply to our lives.

Why is it so easy to believe the negative things we hear about someone or something? Wouldn’t it be great if we could all be a big person and give the benefit of the doubt until we did our own research or learned first-hand that what we heard was true?

Wouldn’t it be great if Philippians 4:8 could become the theme verse for the big person? That instead of casting judging thoughts we fixed our minds on “what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable” (NLT).

This past weekend I experienced something that no girl likes to experience. The toilet in the guest bathroom clogged. While I was not the guilty party that caused the clog, and while the only thing mysterious in nature that I saw was a toilet bowl full of clear water, just the very thought of a clogged toilet in my house drove me crazy all weekend.

Timing: There are just some times when it seems like the universe is out to get you. When, just like our toilet, which broke Saturday morning outside of normal business operating hours, bad things happen at the worst timing possible. You get the stomach flu the night before a long-anticipated youth retreat. You get a C on a test you studied really hard for. You get in a fender bender. Your best friend tells you she’s moving the same week your dog dies. Sometimes all you can do is have a little freak-out moment, pray, and then move on.

No Quick Fixes: Despite their best efforts, my dad, the heavy-duty plunger, and metal plumbing snake eventually caved to the toilet. They gave up. The toilet won. It was a knock out. One point toilet — zero points us. Sometimes in life there isn’t a quick fix for every problem. Some problems require a little plunging and then it’s over, like losing one of the earrings you borrowed from your sister and having to replace them. A few plunges and the problem of the lost earring is solved. Other problems require a lot more work and maybe even some other people, like deciding to talk to your teacher and get a tutor to prevent your math scores from continuing to slip. These kinds of problems don’t usually have a quick fix, but require a few action steps from us in the beginning before they start to get better. In our case, we needed to involve a plumber.

Lessons Learned: Fortunately, not many problems come and go without us learning something from them. In the case of the clogged toilet, I learned where the pipe is outside that accesses all of the plumbing in our house. I also learned that Draino should never be used in the toilet. Girls, take note. And when life throws us problems there’s usually a lesson just as important to learn as the Draino. Such as always go to God first, the importance of studying, being on time, or listening carefully to instructions.

When life is like a clogged toilet, give yourself a few freak-out moments, but then pray about it, come up with a plan to fix it, and graciously learn the lessons your toilet is teaching you!

Winter Warm

For those of us who endure colder temperatures during the winter, being cute while still being warm can be a bit of a challenge! Today we’ll take a look at a few cozy warm outfits that still scream adorable.

Outfit #1

Wear a thick button-up cardigan with a complementing blue tank top underneath, skinny jeans, and a cute pair of warm boots. For added warmth, wear a pair of thermal socks. Accessorize with simple earrings and long necklace. Add a warm coat for outside weather.

Outfit #2

Wear a thick, long-sleeved sweater with a pop-of-color long-sleeved shirt underneath, black skinny jeans, sweater knit boots, and a cute infinity scarf. Throw a warm vest on over your outfit before you head out into the cold.

Outfit #3

Wear a warm, lime green cardigan with a hot pink long-sleeved shirt underneath, dark, wide leg jeans, simple shoes, and a colorful scarf for added warmth. Wear a warm coat over your outfit when going outside.

New Year’s Eve

New Year’s Eve is so much fun when you’re a teenager because you’re old enough that your parents don’t make you take a nap in the late afternoon so that you can stay up until midnight! Whether you have fun plans out or are looking forward to a night in, here are two great outfit ideas to make it a great New Year’s Eve.

Dressy

Ring in the new year wearing a beautiful plum skirt with leggings, a black cardigan over a sparkly blouse, cute peep-toe heels, and some fun jewelry to tie in the bling from the belt on the skirt. Carry your belongings in a stylish clutch and add some pizzazz to your hairdo with a flower headband.

Casual

Planning on laid back evening with family or friends? Wear a comfortable blue cardigan with a mustard yellow tee underneath, relaxed jeans, and mustard yellow flats. Complete your outfit with a cute purse, simple earrings, and an infinity scarf.

I was painfully shy in early elementary school. One particular day, I happened to be sitting at one end of a table in the cafeteria with several boys who typically were up to no good at the other end. After lunch our entire table was sent to the principal’s office to discuss the despicable action that had taken place during lunch. The offense? Someone left a partially eaten sandwich on the table. We were forced to sit there — looking at each other — until someone confessed to the heinous crime.

No one likes to be accused of something they didn’t do. As a teenager the number of things one can be accused of grows exponentially. Drugs, alcohol, a physical relationship with a boyfriend, cheating as schoolwork becomes progressively harder and more future-impacting … the pressures and temptations are out there.

Perhaps the most powerful part of the Christmas story in my mind is how graciously Mary accepted the plan God had for her life — despite the cultural significance.

Mary was engaged to Joseph. Engaged to be married. A life-long commitment. One day she had to look into Joseph’s eyes and tell him that she was pregnant. With the Son of God. The Messiah. And that the Holy Spirit conceived the baby within her. Can you imagine what was going through her head as she told the man she was going to marry all of that? Can you imagine the fear of rejection she felt? Can you imagine how angry, confused, and weirded out Joseph would have been? This was huge.

The obvious assumption was that Mary had cheated on Joseph. Being the respectable man he was, he had decided to keep that quiet and break things off with Mary out of the public’s eye. Naturally, since Mary’s belly was inevitably going to grow you can imagine the conversations her town would be having behind her back.

Can you imagine the feeling of being accused of something you didn’t do? Of cheating? Of not being true to your word to someone? Of committing an action you didn’t do? All the while knowing you’re innocent and that God is using you?

Mary knew the call of God on her life and trusted that He would work out all of the details as long as she obeyed Him. She took the high road. She didn’t worry about the opinions of others since she knew her character and her right standing with the Lord would be enough. And sure enough, Mary accepted God’s plan and God sent an angel to Joseph to explain the amazing new direction for their lives. God went before them in every step of the way.

Amazing. As we come into this Christmas season, take some time to read the story of Mary, Joseph, and baby Jesus in Luke 1-2. Challenge yourself to develop the character of a godly woman so that when false accusations are hurdled your way they aren’t even entertained since your reputation and character speak more loudly and pray that God’s plan for your life is made all the more evident!

1. Pick one day to stay in your jammies from the time you wake up until the time you go to bed. Take some time for yourself to relax! Take a bubble bath, watch movies, make your favorite snacks, read a book, play a game with a sibling or parent, etc.

2. Go to breakfast with a friend. Friends and pancakes make life so much more happy!

3. Write letters to 5 different people. Been a while since you’ve seen your grandma? Have an aunt who’s been on your mind? Write her a quick note to say hi and let her know what you’ve been up to. Include a photo, a fun recipe clipped from a magazine, or your latest art project or writing assignment. She’ll love feeling included in your life.

4. Go to a matinee movie. There are typically a lot of fun movies that come out around Christmastime. Grab a friend or a sibling and hit up a cheaper matinee movie.

5. Deep clean your room. Make it fun — set up a laptop on your bed and pop in a movie. Have a tall glass of juice, soda, or hot chocolate sitting by to reward yourself for progress you make every few minutes! Start by making your bed. Next, fold and stack all of the clothes on the bed. When all of the clothes are off the floor, put the stacks into drawers. You’ll feel accomplished as your bed starts clearing off! Collect hair accessories and jewelry and put them where they belong. Throw away garbage and make a stack of “things to go through.” Vacuum the floors really well and introduce your dresser and nightstand to some furniture polish!

6. Clean out your closet. This … can be … a daunting task. Start by removing everything that’s not already hanging — boxes stored on the floor or up on a shelf. Sort your hanging clothes into sections for pants, skirts, dresses, tops, and jackets. This will make it easy for you to see all of your options in a more organized way in the morning when you’re getting ready for the day! Set aside clothes to be donated or sold. Go through the boxes and random collections of other stuff that have found a home in your closet. Perhaps some things need to go to the attic or basement. Perhaps they can be added to the “donate/ sell” pile.

7. Take naps. You’re a teenager — you need a lot of sleep and Christmas break is the best time to get it! Don’t pack so much into your days that you don’t allow time to sleep.

8. Cook dinner for your family. Most likely, you have time off from school but your parents still have to work. Plan a night to make a complete meal — entrée, side dish, vegetable, fruit, bread, and dessert. Have the table set and the candles lit when your family comes home. It will be such a blessing to them! For recipes online, try a site like Betty Crocker or All Recipes. 

9. Read through a book of the Bible. Choose a Book you’ve been wanting to read and tackle it over some hot chocolate during your break. Choose a version that is easy to understand, like The Message.

10. Learn something new. Learn how to crochet, embroider a hand towel, make fondant cakes, sew a blanket, play a new song on the piano, bake an apple pie from scratch, play ice hockey, watch documentaries, etc.

Christmas Outfits

Christmas is such a fun holiday! Today we are looking at some adorable outfit options for your Christmas celebrations.

Christmas Eve (Dressy)

Wear a black skirt, an elegant navy blue top with matching navy blue tights, black heels, and gorgeous jewelry.

Christmas Eve (Casual)

Wear a long button-up sweater with a long-sleeved shirt underneath, a pair of jeans, cute boots, and a nice scarf.

Christmas Pajamas

Everyone could use a fun pair of Christmasy pajamas! Get a pair of cute red plaid pajama bottoms and wear it with a coordinating long-sleeved shirt, slippers and a comfortable white robe.

Christmas Day

Wear a cute bubble vest with a sweater underneath, comfortable jeans, pop-of-color flats, and adorable earrings.

Check back next week as we take a look at a few great outfit options for New Years Eve!