Teen Girls

Helping you embrace the teen girl experience

What-to-Wear-Wednesday #43

September 1st, 2010 by kmattiuzzo

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Fall Color Trends

It’s back-to-school season! Are you excited? As you hit the stores in preparation for a new school year you’ll notice a common theme in each store you visit … it’s the new color trends for fall 2010 and we’re excited to explore it more today!

Whether you shop online or prefer the thrill of an in-person experience, simply squint your eyes and let your vision go blurry as you scan the clothes, accessories, and cosmetics and you’ll be able to pick out the hot new colors for fall —taupe, gray, coral, plum, olive green, blue, brown, and bright red, all in varying shades. You’ll also notice that metallic and plaid are in this season.

That being said, how can you incorporate these new colors into your look for the fall?

Cosmetics: Check out these shades from Mary Kay, Sephora, and Maybelline and find a new favorite nail polish and a complementing metallic lip gloss.

Accessories: Incorporate the colors not only in the outfits you wear, but in the accessories you choose. Get a cute tote like this, this, or this and hair accessories like this, this, or this. Wear some fun rings, bracelets, necklaces, and earrings.

Check back next week as we piece together a few great back-to-school outfits!

A Quick Fix

August 19th, 2010 by kmattiuzzo

quickfix.jpgLife is better with friends who can share in the experiences. My friend Krystie is one of those friends who makes any experience better.

One day I decided that my hair color was a little too “blah” so I enlisted the help of my friends to dye my hair.

Things were going great. We were having fun, dye was staying on or close to my hair, and we were making memories. After my hair had absorbed the color for the allotted time I jumped in the shower and eagerly washed away the dye to see the final product of our hard work.

To my dismay my new hair was burgundy. Or purple. It wasn’t really one identifiable color. Just a lot of bad.

I completely panicked. I’m pale white with freckles, naturally reddish-brown hair, and greenish eyes. That hair color and I were never meant to occupy the same space. Krystie had heard that a good home remedy for girls-with-at-home-boxed-hair-dye was to pour Coca Cola over your hair to help draw out some of the color.

It was an excellent plan.

We set out on a conquest to find a Coke. Our dorm hall, the guys dorm hall, the student union. Apparently my college campus was pro-Pepsi and anti-Coke. My hair was quickly drying from the wind our sprint was generating so we settled with the best Coke alternative — a Pepsi.

We got back to my room and I leaned back over a red bucket. My ever-loyal friend Krystie poured the entire bottle of Pepsi over my head. My scalp burned from the fizzy carbonation and the Pepsi only drew out a little of the dye. Fail.

I spent the next few weeks wearing dark eye make-up and lipstick to balance the brooding persona I had created with my hair.

Most of the time there are no quick fixes for problems in life. On rare occasions we luck out and the solution is relatively painless and is right around the corner, but other times problems take a while to fix, leaving us with physical or emotional evidence of our problem. While this story has been a comical example, some problems can be pretty serious … an unchecked physical relationship with a boyfriend, an inclination to drink at parties, or losing our parents’ trust. These problems take longer to fix because they involve disobedience, emotions, and consequences.

Life doesn’t come with an “un-do” button. Before you get into a situation, think ahead to what the consequences might be. If what you’re about to do doesn’t bring glory to God or could potentially leave you looking like Barney the Dinosaur, it’s probably not worth it.

“Give me understanding, and I will keep your law and obey it with all my heart. Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight. Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain. Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word” (Psalm 119:34-37, NIV).

Habits

August 9th, 2010 by kmattiuzzo

81310_badhabits.jpgHabits are a funny thing. Sometimes you want them. Other times it seems impossible to get rid of them.
I have several annoying habits I’m trying to break. You can usually tell what kind of week I’m having by looking at the condition of my lips. That’s right — on a good week my lips are smooth and beautifully glossed. On a bad week my lips are a mangled mess. When I get stressed out I seem to inadvertently take it out on my lips by picking at them. While I know my mangled lips aren’t my most attractive physical feature, I can’t seem to help it.
Another annoying habit I’ll eventually overcome is the desire to pick my mascara off. Sometimes this results in accidently plucking out eyelashes. You can imagine how awful it is when I’m stressed out since I have these two bad habits — I only have a handful of eyelashes left and lips that look like sand dunes in the Sahara Desert.
Here are some tips for breaking bad habits:
Be aware of them. Notice any triggers or patterns. Are you stressed out when you do your habit? Are you alone? Are you bored? Have someone point out your behavior to you so you recognize your actions.
Come up with an alternative. If you’re a nail biter, try chewing gum. If you run 15 minutes late, set your clocks ahead 15 minutes to fool yourself. If you’re trying to stop saying “like” 45 times in a conversation, practice speaking more slowly and intentionally.
Set mile markers to track your progress. Reward yourself for going one day without doing your habit. Then one week. Then one month. Try rewarding yourself with something related to your habit — for me, this could be a few new lip glosses or lip sticks. For you it might be a manicure to celebrate having nice, unchewed nails. Find something that can serve as a meaningful reward you can look forward to receiving.
“But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Corinthians 15:57, NIV).

Teen Girl Blog: Holiness

August 5th, 2010 by kmattiuzzo

8610_holiness.jpgWhat pops into your head when you hear the word holiness? Are there certain songs or lyrics that you’re reminded of? Do you think of behaviors that you avoid? Is it a style of clothing?

If you’re like me, you get a mental image of soft, glowing light with harp music softly playing in the background. I think of a serene, reverent environment meant to glorify God. To achieve that environment we mold our actions, words, and thoughts to be more like God.

Here’s how the Bible defines holiness:

Separated from evil: Isaiah 59:2 talks about how our sin separates us from God. We can no longer see His face or hear His voice when we are consumed with sin.

Upholding good morals: First Thessalonians 4:3-8 outlines what the will of God is for our lives — it’s to abstain from sexual sins; it’s learning to control our bodies so that we honor God in our actions; it’s not sinning against others; it’s living in purity and holiness.

Set apart for God’s highest purpose: Second Timothy 2:20, 21 says that anyone who gets rid of sin — our dishonorable actions, words, and thoughts — will be used for amazing purposes. God sets us apart, calls us holy, and gets ready to use us in incredible ways.

Being more like God: Second Timothy 2:22 calls us to leave behind worldly desires and pursuits and instead work on building up characteristics that will make us more like God — characteristics like faith, love, peace, and righteousness.

When God forgives us, stomps on our sin, and throws it into the deepest part of the ocean like in Micah 7:19, our response should be to repent — turn our back on the way we were and strive to be more like God in every aspect of our lives. Our emotional and physical relationship with guys should be holy and right in God’s eyes. Our language should demonstrate that the Lord is present in our lives. Our decisions should indicate that our bodies are a temple where the Holy Spirit lives, and our thoughts should line up with God’s.

 

What do you need to change to start living a more holy life?

 

Teen Girl Blog: New Experiences

August 3rd, 2010 by kmattiuzzo

82.JPGThere are some experiences in life that you just couldn’t pay money to have. In fact, you’d probably pay money to permanently erase those experiences from your mind. Forget the life-lesson. Bring back the pride.

I was home from college one summer and desperate to find a job. Turns out looking cute and smiling a lot isn’t enough to convince an employer that you’re worth hiring for 3 months before you up and leave again for the school year. My church recognized my work ethic and my motivation to find a job and offered me a full-time, temporary custodial position for the summer. The pay was good and my mom was already on staff in a different area so I decided to go for it. I was excited to have a grown up job with grown up hours and to hang out with my mom and her friends on our grown up lunch outings.

The team of male custodians was thrilled to have me on board. Apparently they’d grown tired of having to clean the women’s restrooms during events and of all of the awkwardness that that entailed. They were a little less enthusiastic when they noticed that my upper-body muscles are pretty much inverted and useless. They were going to have to set up and tear down rooms and meeting spaces while I “supervised.”

The first week of work I learned all kinds of things. Like what was behind all of the doors that were always locked, that the magic cloth towels they had really did clean windows better than paper towels, and how to push a cleaning cart effortlessly and attractively down the hallway while preserving every ounce of my femininity.

Then one day I had to clean the men’s room in the hallway right outside the main offices.

I knocked and waited several times, offering one final opportunity of escape to any soon-to-be-culprits of indecent exposure and then walked in, donning my work accessories … spandex gloves, toilet bowl cleaner, and sheer terror.

I guess I had never really studied a urinal before. We stared at each other like a puppy looking at its reflection in a mirror for the first time. I’d seen pictures … but beholding a urinal in person was much different than I would have imagined. I half expected there to be a warm glow and sparkly noises surrounding the bay of urinals. What happened when it was flushed? Did water flow into it like a normal toilet? Where am I supposed to clean it? Where are all of the walls?!

I can’t remember actually cleaning the urinals that day. I’m sure I did because I’m a chronic rule/order-follower, but what I do remember is standing in the hallway looking for someone else I could drag into the experience with me!

When headed into a new experience, remember to “Be strong, therefore, and let not your hands be weak and slack, for your work shall be rewarded” (2 Chronicles 15:7, Amplified).

Lighten Up

July 29th, 2010 by kmattiuzzo

73010_lightenup.jpgMy first time to a Sonic Drive-In restaurant was my freshman year of college. We didn’t have one in the city where I was from yet their nationally broadcasted commercials boasting about being “America’s Drive-In” continually taunted us. I was finally able to appease my cravings when I moved to Springfield, MO, to attend Evangel University.

A few of my new college friends piled into my car (which, if you remember from an earlier blog is named Gilbert) and we set out to explore the town … starting with a Sonic Drive-In.

I suppose I should interject something here for you to better understand — I.Do.Not.Do.Drive-throughs. They make me nervous. My feet start to sweat and my palms get clammy. They cause me to stutter. And without fail I’ll order more than I want thanks to their unstoppable powers of up-selling. I prefer face-to-face contact.

I pulled off the main road into the Sonic parking lot and waited for one of my friends to tell me what to do and where to go. I had no doubt the other cars in the drive-in stalls could smell my novice fear.

We pulled into a vacant stall and I rolled down my window (hand-crank window …  it was a long and awkward 45 seconds) to place the orders for my car of new friends. The charming Sonic order-taker was kind and patient with us as we fumbled through the order and I started to feel a weight lift off my shoulders as we settled in to wait for our food. As is typical for a car full of girls, we got giddy and giggly. I excitedly exclaimed, “He sounded really cute. Did you hear his voice?! I bet he’s really hot!”

And then my world stopped spinning as I heard a familiar voice out my window to the left.

“Why thank you,” said the charming, cute Sonic-order-taker.

Are there no rules against eavesdropping into a car of girls via drive-through-microphones? Would an invasion of privacy lawsuit hold up in court? Is it possible to actually die from being embarrassed?

These were the thoughts that ran uncontrolled through my mind, but then I realized something I still remind myself of today. To lighten up! Learn to laugh at yourself. Learn to bow graciously in the face of embarrassment and be a good sport. Try new things with confidence and remember that “Because the Sovereign Lord helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore, I have set my face like a stone,
determined to do his will. And I know that I will not be put to shame” (Isaiah 50:7, New American Standard). Victory is yours in the Lord whether it’s in that big test you have next week, the speech you have to give, or ordering food at a drive-through!

A Body Like Barbie

July 27th, 2010 by kmattiuzzo

cake.jpgSet aside your dreams of looking like Barbie. Her anatomical proportions in “real life” would leave you with a skeleton-like frame and a massive bust.

If you were to meet a real life version of Barbie, she would be 5’ 9” and 101 lbs. Her hips would be about 33” around, her bust would be about 36” around, and her waist would be about 18” around. Now, I’m a fairly small framed person and my waist is 10” larger than Barbie’s, so I can’t even fathom how grossly disproportionate that would be.

To sum it up, your initial reaction (after recovering from the shock of meeting life-sized Barbie) would be to sit her down and start a milkshake IV drip while force-feeding her supreme pizza. For dessert you’d slice a piece of cake … for yourself … while you supervised as she ate the rest of the cake and washed it down with a tall glass of whole milk to plump her up.

I had always been slightly self-conscious of my body throughout high school — not so much because I felt overweight, but because I felt disproportioned. When wearing a form fitting dress or a swimsuit I always studied my figure trying to understand why my hips looked so much bigger than the rest of me and why my chest looked so nonexistent. And still to this day I lovingly encourage my left foot to catch up in growth to my right foot so I can wear the same size shoes with ease. I’m fairly certain my half-size-smaller left foot is to blame for my awesome biff walking up the stairs with all of my classmates coming out of the cafeteria in junior high. My lunch box spilled open and bounced down a few stairs and I’ve never been able to let it go.

I’ve realized that the world is full of disproportion. Some people have long legs and some people have a long torso. Some people have big behinds and some people have close-set eyes. Some people have a long list of job responsibilities at work but don’t make enough money and others hardly work but have lots of money. Some people have huge emotional upheavals over minor issues and some people just never cry.

Perhaps the greatest disproportion is God’s love for us. We’re fragile, flawed human beings and the God who’s perfect in this disproportionate world is madly in love with us. In fact, Paul was so sure of God’s love for us that he wrote, “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord,” (Romans 8:38-39, NIV).

In light of God’s incessant love, all other disproportions seems disproportionate don’t you think? 

The Money Formula

July 13th, 2010 by kmattiuzzo

moneyformula.jpgIt’s hard not to let money control you when money is so essential to our world and can even define what your world is.

We tell ourselves the 1998 clunker we’re driving is fine because we’re only in high school and we don’t need a sparkling new car to feel good about ourselves. We can live without power locks, power windows, or even just … power. Is it so wrong that we can only merge onto the freeway at speeds of 28 mph? Is it so wrong that when the cute boy stops by your car and wants to chat as you’re pulling out of the parking lot that you have to keep him waiting for five awkward minutes while you frantically hand crank your window down?

We tell ourselves we can paint our own nails and do our own hair for school formals to prevent having to pay $200 for a single event even though, if we were to be honest with ourselves, we know that we paint our nails about as well as a 4-year-old does and the only way we know how to make our hair “formal” is by parting it on the other side.

The stress of balancing missions giving with that awesome new movie that just came out with saving for college and needing the new CD everyone’s listening to or getting highlights because that girl in biology looks even prettier now can leave you feeling kerbobled (brand new word … take note).

Spending money isn’t bad. You just need to learn the right formula. Here’s what my dad taught me.

Save some: Whether it’s birthday money or a paycheck, pull a little aside and put it in your savings account. Someday you might need a new car. Maybe you’ll pay for books and a meal plan when you head to college. Maybe your youth pastor will present a missions giving challenge to your youth group and you’ll want to participate.

Saving is a good habit to develop while you’re young. There’s a little verse in the Bible that talks about that — “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much” (Luke 16:10, NIV). You’re proving that you can be a good steward of what God blesses you with.

Give some: First and foremost, tithe on your income. Believe it or not, God can still use the $10 you tithe from your part-time, low-paying summer job. Don’t underestimate God and the things He can do through your obedience.

Pray that your heart will be sensitive to what the Lord wants you to do with your money. You may feel prompted to give to a particular missionary that speaks at your church. Maybe you notice a girl who is hurting that you can bless by buying her a coffee and spending some time chatting about what’s going on. Maybe you buy an extra gift at Christmastime for an underprivileged family.

Spend some: Buy something you need. Mom and Dad may still be your primary financial providers, but show them that you’re stepping up to the plate of responsibility by buying your shampoo and conditioner the next time you run out or offer to start paying for your own gas now that you have a car.

Live some: Have some fun. While this action step is probably the one that gets the most teen girls in trouble, it’s still part of the formula. Don’t be such a tight wad that you can‘t live! Grab a milkshake after service with your youth group. Plan a girls night out and see that new chick flick. Plan a BBQ with a few of your friends and all chip in to bring something. Don’t let your junior high and high school years pass you by because you are so focused on saving every penny.

How can you implement this? Here’s something to start with:

Pretend your paycheck (after taxes) at your part-time job is $100 a week. Give 10% ($10) for tithes, use 20% ($20) for giving (missions pledge, offering, etc) and put 30% in savings ($30 a week adds up). That leaves you with $20 for spending money on practical things and $20 for spending money on “fun things.”

Depending on what phase of life you’re at (early – mid teens vs. soon to be high school grad) you might alter the formula slightly, but this at least gives you a place to start!

What-to-Wear-Wednesday #42: Textures

July 7th, 2010 by kmattiuzzo

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To prevent your wardrobe from getting boring, make sure you have a nice variety of textured clothing in your closet. Here are a few examples:

Ruffles

Something like this would be really cute under something like this because it combines two different textures — ruffles and denim. Wear it with something like this. This is another adorable option for a ruffled top. Remove the belt it comes with and add your own.

Embroidery

This cotton sleeveless blouse has gorgeous embroidering around the neckline and would look great with a pair of these (without the belt) and with these shoes. This is another great example of an embroidered top. It would be beautiful with a white T-shirt underneath or a cardigan over top.

Crinkle

This is an excellent example of different textures working together. This crinkle top would look adorable under a white, cropped, three-quarter length sleeve cardigan.

Embellishments

Embellishments add excitement to a top. They can be anything like beading, jewels, bows, ties, buttons, etc. This gorgeous top would be perfect under one of these. It combines crochet with the sleek, soft look of the top with the embellishments beading the neckline. Here are some other cute examples of embellishments. Put a T-shirt under or wear a cardigan or jacket over for a modest finishing touch.

Experiment with different combinations of textures as you go to buy new clothes this summer. Branch out and avoid purchasing your usual!

Names

July 2nd, 2010 by kmattiuzzo

names.jpgI have long been made fun of for naming the material possessions in my life. It’s not that I love my earthly treasures so much, it’s just funnier and easier to call them by their personified identity. Gilbert, Charles, Jan…these are just a few of the items that make my day a little brighter.

My senior year of high school I became the proud owner of a slightly used red Toyota Corolla. It was a massive step up from the 1998 Camry I had been driving so I quickly felt bonded to it. Thus, “he” was given the name, Gilbert. During my freshman year of college I was the only one of my friends who had a car. I became the taxi service and the name Gilbert quickly caught on.

Jan was a present to my husband and me at Christmastime. We had driven from our home in Missouri to his dad’s home in New York. It felt like we had traveled through 25 other states in the middle of winter. Our trip home was much more relaxing when my father-in-law gave us Jan the GPS.

Charles had been in our lives for two and a half years — he just hadn’t been named yet. My husband and I bought a puppy and quickly learned that she did not like the vacuum cleaner. She would come alive with an energy and ferociousness that completely contradicted her otherwise subdued and quiet disposition. From that point on we’ve loved to tease our puppy with Charles the vacuum cleaner.

Names can be pretty powerful. Spoken from a daddy names can show love. Spoken from a boyfriend names can show affection. They wash over us and bring peace, comfort, and affirmation. But there are other names that sting when we hear them, especially if they’re directed at us.

God names the things He values. He calls each of us His sons and daughters. A child of the King. His bride. Beloved. Little children. He calls us by our proper name too, just as He did in the story about Samuel in 1 Samuel 3. We are special to God.

He even cared so much about what we call things like hummingbirds, koala bears, and dung beetles that He tasked Adam in the Garden of Eden with naming each living creature. He cared about each of His creations.

Do we show God the same kind of value, love, and respect in the names we call Him? Do we even call Him?

Do you call Him Father (Matthew 6:9)? Creator (1 Peter 4:19)? When praying for healing do you call Him deliverer (Romans 11:26)? What about Jehova Jireh when praying for God’s provision (Genesis 22:14)?

Doesn’t it seem backwards that a big God who created the whole Earth and has never had a beginning and will never have an end put so much thought into each one of His creations to call us each by name but we small, fragile humans spend so little time calling our heavenly Father by the names He loves to hear? Father, holy, Savior, Provider.

Let’s make a change. Love the things that God values and names — other people, ourselves, His creation, etc. — and revere the names of your holy Father.

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